Aliens made me do it.

Everything With Words, 2025. Written by David McPhail.

It’s not every day a spaceship crash-lands in your garden.

Eleven-year-old Hillman thinks it’s a prank—until a real alien steps out, followed by a homicidal android armed with explosive custard. Princess Cassiopeia’s in a fix. She shrank her entire space armada while making a smoothie (don’t ask!). She came to rally Earth’s leaders. She got Hillman Patel. Age eleven. And his crusty old Grandad. The galaxy’s most ridiculous war has landed on Earth, and things are about to get very, very messy. Can Cassiopeia defeat Prince Perseus, Lord of the Five Spirals, Admiral of the 1st Attack Fleet, Commander of the Order of Zarg, and more recently winner of the Alpha Centauri Award for Best-Dressed Galactic Despot?

Luckily, Hillman’s got one excuse:

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A black and white cartoon drawing of a woman with long hair, wearing a mermaid tail, holding a lantern and gesturing wildly, with a boy standing behind her looking surprised, in front of a house, with a tree and a fence around. The scene appears to b

A black and white cartoon drawing of a woman with long hair, wearing a mermaid tail, holding a lantern and gesturing wildly, with a boy standing behind her looking surprised, in front of a house, with a tree and a fence around. The scene appears to be outdoors.

A black-and-white cartoon-style drawing of a woman sitting on a chair in a room filled with pictures on the wall, including a woman in a fancy dress, other portraits, and a coat of arms. The woman appears surprised or surprised, with her hands on her

A black-and-white cartoon-style drawing of a woman sitting on a chair in a room filled with pictures on the wall, including a woman in a fancy dress, other portraits, and a coat of arms. The woman appears surprised or surprised, with her hands on her lap. A man is standing nearby, wearing a necklace, holding a golf club or similar object, with a golf ball on the floor, and a trash basket filled with crumpled paper nearby.

A humorous black and white cartoon of a dog riding a mechanical horse in a garden, with a person pointing to a painting and a house in the background.

A humorous black and white cartoon of a dog riding a mechanical horse in a garden, with a person pointing to a painting and a house in the background.

A cartoon illustration of a person in a vehicle with a glass windshield, surrounded by flying paper money, with a helicopter flying overhead, and a dog mounted on the vehicle.

A cartoon illustration of a person in a vehicle with a glass windshield, surrounded by flying paper money, with a helicopter flying overhead, and a dog mounted on the vehicle.

Cartoon scene of a woman with long hair and a dress being grabbed by an ogre-like creature, while a police officer and a man with a telephone watch on a man with a beard and a bow tie react in alarm. A woman in the background appears scared, and othe

Cartoon scene of a woman with long hair and a dress being grabbed by an ogre-like creature, while a police officer and a man with a telephone watch on a man with a beard and a bow tie react in alarm. A woman in the background appears scared, and other people are nearby outside a house with a brick wall and window.

A black and white cartoon scene with multiple characters reacting to a large ice cream sundae. Several children are seated, watching anxiously as a person dressed as a chef prepares the sundae, with some characters looking surprised or shocked.

A black and white cartoon scene with multiple characters reacting to a large ice cream sundae. Several children are seated, watching anxiously as a person dressed as a chef prepares the sundae, with some characters looking surprised or shocked.

A cartoon illustration of a small, old building with a steep roof, and a tractor crashing into a car. The car is overturned with a person inside, and the tractor is lifting a large cheese wheel. The person in the car looks surprised and worried.

A cartoon illustration of a small, old building with a steep roof, and a tractor crashing into a car. The car is overturned with a person inside, and the tractor is lifting a large cheese wheel. The person in the car looks surprised and worried.

A cartoon illustration of a chaotic car race with multiple cars, including a rocket car, on a race track. The scene is lively with characters showing excitement and energy.

A cartoon illustration of a chaotic car race with multiple cars, including a rocket car, on a race track. The scene is lively with characters showing excitement and energy.